CAVORTING WITH THE COMMIES
After being saturated with progressive communist democrat propaganda all day, I fell asleep and had the strangest dream...
One moment, Senator Bernie Sanders was delivering a rousing speech on the Senate floor about the perils of late-stage capitalism and the oligarchy.
The next, he woke up in a yurt in rural Siberia, wrapped in a wool blanket that smelled like cabbage and revolution.
“Comrade Bernie awakens!” shouted Boris, a beaming old communist with a beard that looked like it had unionized. “You drank the Party Punch at Olga’s birthday, yes?”
Apparently, he had.
The night before, Bernie had attended a diplomatic mixer at the U.N. where someone passed him a glass of Trotsky Tonic. He’d only meant to give a short speech on universal healthcare. Somehow, it ended with him singing folk songs with a balalaika and shouting “Seize the bagels!” in fluent Russian.
Now he was the guest of honor at a “Revolutionary Spirit Retreat” — a week-long getaway featuring Marxist karaoke, collectivist yoga, and beet farming by moonlight.
Rather than resist, Bernie leaned in.
He taught seminars titled “Democratic Socialism: The Musical,” implemented a fair and equitable turnip distribution policy, and single-handedly unionized the goats.
When the U.S. Embassy located him via satellite (he’d caused a small international incident by live-streaming a fireside chat about the price of borscht), they offered an immediate extraction.
Bernie squinted through his mittens. “No thanks. These people have universal healthcare and free accordion lessons.”
He stayed.
To this day, the villagers speak of “The Great Bernovsky,” who brought social justice and a detailed critique of oligarchy to their humble commune.
And every New Year’s Eve, as the snow falls gently on the tundra, they raise a glass of vodka-vermouth and toast:
“To Bernie — the only man to filibuster in Siberia.”
The next morning, I woke up, and he was on television.
My dream was, indeed, a nightmare.
We are so screwed.
-- Steve
“Nullius in verba”-- take nobody's word for it!
"Acta non verba" -- actions not words
“Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.”-- George Bernard Shaw
“Progressive, liberal, Socialist, Marxist, Democratic Socialist -- they are all COMMUNISTS.”
“The key to fighting the craziness of the progressives is to hold them responsible for their actions, not their intentions.” – OCS "The object in life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." -- Marcus Aurelius “A people that elect corrupt politicians, imposters, thieves, and traitors are not victims... but accomplices” -- George Orwell “Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt." (The people gladly believe what they wish to.) ~Julius Caesar “Describing the problem is quite different from knowing the solution. Except in politics." ~ OCS