WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS: LAUGH
Did I ever mention that I am an economic genius? Today I figured out how to pay for the coronavirus damage to the economy. It’s simple and straight forward: make politicians pay a 100% of the commercial value of the space and air-time they receive in the media.
While the coronavirus pandemic is wreaking havoc on the world’s population and economy, it costs nothing to laugh and laughing may make you feel better – especially as it clears the airways and provides needed exercise for those imprisoned in their homes and awaiting the annual April tax disaster that appears on April 15th and now postponed to Wednesday July 15, 2020.
Of course, for the Democrats, the other shoe will be dropping – or kicking them in the rear – as U.S. Attorney John Durham's report on the origins of the Russia Collusion Scandal is released. Another reason to stock-up on toilet paper.
Now more about the international pundemic…
Best Video – The Toilet Paper Song by Heather Pierson
From the webkins …
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Have you noticed that all disaster stories start with the government ignoring an actor playing scientist? I was so eager for exercise that I took up indoor curling – using my Swiffer to make way for my Roomba. Bankers are panicking – they can no longer tell the difference between customers and robbers under the masks. There is no truth to the conspiracy theory that Charmin is behind the hole thing. The quickest way to get a coronavirus test is to tell the doctor the truth when he asks if you visited a country experiencing a coronavirus outbreak. But be sure to cough when you say the U.S.A. What’s the difference between COVID-19 and Romeo and Juliet? One’s the coronavirus and the other is a Verona crisis. Why do they call it the novel coronavirus? It’s a long story…. Why didn’t the sick guy get the joke? It flu over his head. Why don’t chefs find coronavirus jokes funny? They’re in bad taste. I’ll tell you a coronavirus joke now, but you’ll have to wait two weeks to see if you got it. Nail salons, hair salons, waxing center and tanning places are closed. It’s about to get ugly out there. Finland just closed its borders. You know what that means. No one will be crossing the finish line. What do you tell yourself when you wake up late for work and realize you have a fever? Self, I so late. Did you hear the joke about the germ? Never mind, I don’t want to spread it around. Where do sick boats go to get healthy? The dock! What did the sick parent make their kids for lunch? Mac and sneeze. I ran out of toilet paper and had to start using old newspapers. Times are rough. You know what they’re saying about 2020. It went viral faster than anyone thought it would. What do you call panic-buying of sausage and cheese in Germany? The wurst kase scenario. Back in my day you would cough to cover up a fart. Now, with COVID-19, you fart to cover up a cough. If there’s a baby boom nine months from now, what will happen in 2033? There will be a whole bunch of quaranteens. What should you do if you don’t understand a coronavirus joke? Be patient. The grocery stores in France look like tornadoes hit them. All that’s left is de brie. Still no toilet paper in the stores. They’re wiped out and you’re shit out of luck. |
Bottom line…
I do not know why most people are panicking. Have they not listened to the side effects of the drugs being advertised on radio and television?
Be well. Be safe. And, above all, watch the politicians.
-- steve
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“Nullius in verba.”-- take nobody's word for it!
“Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.”-- George Bernard Shaw
“Progressive, liberal, Socialist, Marxist, Democratic Socialist -- they are all COMMUNISTS.”
“The key to fighting the craziness of the progressives is to hold them responsible for their actions, not their intentions.” – OCS "The object in life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." -- Marcus Aurelius “A people that elect corrupt politicians, imposters, thieves, and traitors are not victims... but accomplices” -- George Orwell “Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt." (The people gladly believe what they wish to.) ~Julius Caesar “Describing the problem is quite different from knowing the solution. Except in politics." ~ OCS