On December 14, 2012, I posted “OBAMA IMPLEMENTS NEW FEDERAL GOLF RULES VIA EXECUTIVE ORDER – BYPASSES CONGRESS!” …
This was circulating in e-mail and is too funny not to pass along …
I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that many a truth is spoken in jest. Thanks to the anonymous author for today’s smile.
New Federal Golf Rules
President B.H.O. Has recently appointed a Golf Czar.
Major rule changes in the game of golf became effective January 1, 2013. The rules are implemented by executive order as Congress is deadlocked on passing the legislation. It appears that Nancy Pelosi is demanding fairness and complaining that golfer John Boehner is trying to preserve his handicap by denying fairness to minorities, women and the poor. Harry Reid, the Senate Majority Leader, said that he will not introduce the Republican golf bill in the Senate because it was not submitted in good faith. Paul Ryan provided a financial impact analysis which was roundly rejected by everyone.
This is only a preview as the complete rule book (expect 2716 pages) is being rewritten as we speak.
Here are a few of the changes:
Golfers with handicaps:
- Below 10 will have their green fees increased by 35%.
- Between 11 and 18 will see no increase in green fees.
- Above 18 will get a $20 check each time they play.
The term "gimmie" will be changed to "entitlement" and will be used as follows:
- Handicaps below 10, no entitlements.
- Handicaps from 11 to 17, entitlements for putter length putts.
- Handicaps above 18, if your ball is on the green, no need to putt, just pick it up.
These entitlements are intended to bring about fairness and, most importantly, equality in scoring.
Today I received an e-mail from someone who identified himself with a name and a valid e-mail address …
Dear One Citizen:
My sister called, asking if I'd heard anything about the president changing the rules of golf and raising fees, because all the golfers who work in her office are mad enough to "shit blue bricks" over this issue.
Did you know that when you write this kind of satire there are millions of people out there that take it literally. I think you need to add some sort of disclaimer at the bottom. If you don't, some one could end up getting hurt, exposing yourself to years of litigation.
Ted D. Spear
P.S. This is no joke! These people my sister works with are really angry!!
Bottom line …
My thanks to Ted. D. Spear for providing a funny follow-up to the original internet joke. Either he is truly a creative person or our nation is in deep, deep trouble when people who cannot read nor reason take a position on something they barely understand. As the comedian says, “They live among us.”
P.S. On the odd chance (like one-in-a-million) that Ted is serious … perhaps you should give your sister “reading lessons” and a junior-high level class in critical thinking for her birthday. The first two lines clearly indicate the copy that followed was an internet joke.
UPDATE/DISCLAIMER: Just got off the telephone with Ted. It appears he was sincere in wishing for a disclaimer. It seems his sister works in an office where the post appears on the wall -- and she hears clients complaining about it constantly. His sister and co-workers are not golfers and, as such, do not realize that the sport is governed by the USGA (Unted States Golf Association) http://www.usga.org which sanctions golf courses, events, players, and equipment and publishes the official rules of golf.
THIS IS SATIRE AND THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES -- A GOLFER HIMSELF -- CANNOT CHANGE THE RULES OF GOLF BY EXECUTIVE ORDER. IF OBAMA ATTEMPTED TO CHANGE THE RULES, THERE WOULD BE ANOTHER REVOLUTION SURPASSING EVEN THE EXPECTATIONS OF GUN OWNERS.
“Nullius in verba.”-- take nobody's word for it!
“Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.”-- George Bernard Shaw
“Progressive, liberal, Socialist, Marxist, Democratic Socialist -- they are all COMMUNISTS.”
“The key to fighting the craziness of the progressives is to hold them responsible for their actions, not their intentions.” – OCS "The object in life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." -- Marcus Aurelius “A people that elect corrupt politicians, imposters, thieves, and traitors are not victims... but accomplices” -- George Orwell “Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt." (The people gladly believe what they wish to.) ~Julius Caesar “Describing the problem is quite different from knowing the solution. Except in politics." ~ OCS
“The key to fighting the craziness of the progressives is to hold them responsible for their actions, not their intentions.” – OCS
"The object in life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." -- Marcus Aurelius
“A people that elect corrupt politicians, imposters, thieves, and traitors are not victims... but accomplices” -- George Orwell
“Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt." (The people gladly believe what they wish to.) ~Julius Caesar
“Describing the problem is quite different from knowing the solution. Except in politics." ~ OCS