Consider the proposition that brightly-colored fishing gear and lures are designed more to catch fishermen by intimating that they can catch more fish with newer and spiffier gear than they can with a simple rod, reel line and cheap  fishing lure rig.

As a philosophical background to today’s rant, let us also consider two famous people:  Vilfredo Federico Damaso Pareto (1848 – 1923) and George Carlin (1937 –  2008). Pareto, the  industrialist, sociologist, economist, and philosopher and Carlin, a stand-up comedian, actor, author and citizen philosopher.

From these two learned men we can extrapolate all we need to know about organizing our lives.

From Pareto we learn the Pareto Principle, also known as the 80-20 rule, which posits that for many events, roughly 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes.

And from George Carlin we learn simply that “we have too much stuff” and “that the whole meaning of life is finding a place for your stuff.”

Organizers …

Today I decided to clean my work area: a desk piled high with computer gear, books, papers to be read, bills that have been paid and other assorted stuff.

Did I mention that this is a very large L-shaped desk, glass-topped and flanked by two three-drawer file cabinets with their own work surfaces. And on these surfaces, I have organizers: two organizers for CD-ROMs, one chrome double layer in/out unit, one wire-basket combination in/out unit, one mahogany in/out unit, one raised black wire mesh telephone stand with a side slot organizer, two chrome book ends – to match the chrome in/out unit, a slanted plastic Franklin-Covey agenda holder with two underlying slots, three individual black wire mesh stand-up organizers, and one humungous black wire mesh  three level  organizer that can be hung on the wall if I need more space. Plus a separate plastic unit which holds hanging folders for work in progress.

I appear to be organized to the maximum extent possible. In fact I am so damn organized, it would take me days to find something that I filed correctly.

Which brings me to the subject of my rant – organizers. Those things that only promise to bring new meaning to your life by saving you time, effort and money. Things that make perfect sense as you walk down the aisles of Home Depot or Staples. But, in reality, are the cheese in the trap of life.

As I discovered today, 80% of my stuff is obsolete, useless with my new Windows 7 environment or has remained unread until it was re-discovered, scanned and discarded. I have too much stuff.  Both Pareto and Carlin were right: I have too much damn stuff and what stuff I planned to keep – 80% will turn out to be worthless.

I am not sure that I am the only technologist who looks forward to a disk crash and the opportunity to do a clean install and re-load of my programs. Of course, I leave my data files on my backup device or CD-ROMs where they will remain for years. Obviously not important enough to transfer them back to my newly-cleaned system.

Overcoming the impulse to store additional stuff …

As I was cleaning my desk, it occured to me to run to the office supplies store and get some of those Bankers Boxes used for file transfers. That way I could organize my stuff to be stored. Thank heavens I was side-tracked by an early trick-or-treater or I might have, once again, organized and then stored myself into disarray.

What to do with my surplus stuff …

Surely I could hold a garage sale to offload my stuff for a tidy little profit. But then again, there is no room in my garage to hold the stuff awaiting that mythical garage sale day which never comes. It’s almost like the Aztecs or Mayans are in charge of my datebook – with all my stuff disappearing on  December 21, 2012.

Or I could donate it to charity? But clearly they don’t want old technology, they want money. They will no longer accept your junk, perhaps because the non-English speaking clerk has no idea of what it is that you are offering as they hand you the clipboard to claim your IRS deduction.

Perhaps I could donate to a school? Same problem, they want money. Not books and certainly not technology. Random knowledge does not seem to fit into today’s curriculum and lesson plans.

Or I could simply throw it out. Caution: disposing of electronics in today’s hyper-aware environmental atmosphere can get you arrested and fined for disposing of “heavy metals” which are contained in electronic waste.

I think I might just put it in a box on my curb with a sign saying $250 or better offer – and wait for it to be stolen by an itinerant gardener.

Lessons learned …

I think that I have learned my two basic lessons: one, organizers do not organize and two, just stack it in piles for later destruction – no need to buy expensive organizers to make you feel good at the moment of purchase and to create havoc and guilt later when they seem to overflow with organized stuff.

For those who need a little more explanation, let’s consider the wise words of George Carlin … who was convinced that after death he would be a Frisbee forever lost on someone’s roof. 

 George Carlin …

Be well, be safe and take care of yourself and your family first.

-- steve