PROTECTING DICK CHENEY'S WRINKLED OLD ASS FROM EVILDOERS WILL ALSO HELP PROTECT YOU FROM IDENTITY THEFT
Dick Cheney and Identity Theft …
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Richard Bruce "Dick" Cheney Vice President of the United States (1/20/2001) to (1/20/2009) |
Amazingly enough, the legislation known as H.R. 5938 provides “legislation to amend title 18, United States Code, to provide secret service protection to former Vice Presidents, and for other purposes.”
Title I: Former Vice Presidential Protection Act
The first part of this legislation, Title I, known as the Former Vice Presidential Protection Act “amends the federal criminal code to provide secret service protection to former Vice Presidents, their spouses, and their children under 16 years of age for up to six months after a former Vice President leaves office. Authorizes the Secretary of Homeland Security to direct the Secret Service to provide temporary protection to former Vice Presidents and their family members at any time thereafter if warranted. Extends such protection to any Vice President holding office on or after the enactment of this Act.”
But it is these “other purposes” which will help foil hackers and data thieves. In the best Congressional tradition, it is an example of the common practice of attaching a lesser bill to a larger “must pass” bill.
Title II: Identity Theft Enforcement and Restitution Act
Along with temporarily protecting Vice President Cheney’s wrinkled old ass, we find the Identity Theft Enforcement and Restitution Act of 2008 which “amends the federal criminal code to:
(1) authorize criminal restitution orders in identity theft cases to compensate victims for the time spent to remediate the intended or actual harm incurred;
(2) allow prosecution of computer fraud offenses for conduct not involving an interstate or foreign communication;
(3) eliminate the requirement that damage to a victim's computer aggregate at least $5,000 before a prosecution can be brought for unauthorized access to a computer;
(4) make it a felony, during any one-year period, to damage 10 or more protected computers used by or for the federal government or a financial institution;
(5) expand the definition of "cyber-extortion" to include a demand for money in relation to damage to a protected computer, where such damage was caused to facilitate the extortion;
(6) prohibit conspiracies to commit computer fraud;
(7) expand interstate and foreign jurisdiction for prosecution of computer fraud offenses; and
(8) impose criminal and civil forfeitures of property used to commit computer fraud offenses.
In addition, the legislation “directs the U.S. Sentencing Commission to review its guidelines and policy statements for the sentencing of persons convicted of identity theft, computer fraud, illegal wiretapping, and unlawful access to stored information to reflect the intent of Congress that penalties for such offenses be increased. Sets forth criteria for updating such guidelines and policy statements.”
Many of these provisions are sure to attract court challenges to narrow or eliminate some of the provisions. But for now, we have extended the federal law to provide an additional measure of protection to America’s government, commercial and private infrastructure and thus provide additional protection to the American consumer.
As a side note, I think we should protect Vice President Cheney as long as he lives. I am a great fan of Vice President Cheney and believe that it was he, more than the President, who actually was instrumental in protecting the American Public from our enemies, both foreign and domestic. He appears to be more hated by our enemies than the President of the United States. As a measure of my good will towards Vice President Cheney, I would go hunting with him.
-- steve
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